


Cold Hands, Warm Bubbles

by MsGeekNerd



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, although we all LOVE to use those, and it's like, enjoy, for kissing, in the middle, no, no slurs, not even ableist ones, okay enough salt, so it's not that triggery but just in case, whooo, yet again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 11:53:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7756867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsGeekNerd/pseuds/MsGeekNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat visits a dream bubble inhabited by a Dave, who is more than willing to host him. Until Alpha Dave crashes the party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Hands, Warm Bubbles

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you're totally not completely crushed. You went and did it. You gave yourself too much time to actually think and whoop-dee-fucking-doo you fucked yourself over. You're going to die in the upcoming epic multi-boss, multi-session battle, but you knew that in the back of your mind. That's not what's worrying you really. I mean, it sucks. But you were always going to die. You just thought that maybe things could be different if you won the game, different if you and the humans met up, different in this new session. But nope. Same old, same old. 

It really doesn't surprise you as much as it should. What really hurts though? You have never had your first kiss. You are going to die a complete loner who's never even kissed anyone! Well, anyone who was alive anyways. You! Karkat fucking Vantas, romance freak, rom com extraordinaire, are never getting a touch of romance in your life. 

And you know what? You wouldn't have back on Alternia. You know this. You couldn't leave your goddamn hive for crying out loud. But so much has happened since Alternia and fuck, you'd think with the number of people you knew were interested at some point you would've kissed one of them. No. Not you. You just have to be a pathetic mess. 

“Hey dude, I dunno if you noticed, but you're not in Kansas anymore” you hear. 

You look up from where you'd buried your face in your knees. You're not on the meteor. You're in Dave’s old room, back on Earth. Or maybe you're on LOHAC? Either way it's probably hot as hell outside. 

Dave laughs quietly to himself (it's more of a series of audible huffs) “so I take it you're alphakat?” 

Ugh. Dream bubbles. “Yeah” 

You resituate yourself on his cushioned sleeping platform, perching on the edge. You're at a loss for what to do, like you are in most dream bubbles. You find that the afterlife, when populated almost entirely by teenagers, is a very awkward place. 

He turns himself around in his desk chair “I don't mean to pry, but I'm gonna go ahead and pry. You look like you've got a lot on your mind. What's up?” 

You look him over suspiciously. He's godtier, which makes him look too much like your Dave, but it also means he's probably not six, which is good. You don't think you could handle any six sweep olds right now. He knew you on sight too, which is good... You think. Depends on how much of a fuck up his Karkat is. 

“You know, I'm dead, you're alive, in these bubbles you hardly see the same people twice unless you mean to, and someone who's actually alive is also a rare sighting, so who am I gonna tell that matters?” He speaks up again. 

You sigh. Yeah. He's right. Fuck, time to be pathetic. “I just... Do you ever get a heaping pile of reality smack on the cartilage nub and wish you could just forget it?” 

“Considering I have an entire afterlife with way too much time to me myself and I? Yes.” He leans forward, his elbows on his knees. You’ve always thought that he looks like giant tool when he did that, but maybe he thinks it makes him look like a better listener. 

“Did you ever find someone?” Escapes your mouth before you have time to beat the impulse into submission. 

“Whoa, did you just ask me if I was single?” 

“Shut up, not like that. I just mean, as long as we're having an oddly candid talk amongst familiar strangers, why not pry into your romantic life like a fucking douche mongering fecal muffin?” 

“Well when you put it that way. But nah, I... Had some feelings. Didn't work out. I'm an emotionless husk now. Great alternative.” 

“Who did you have feelings for?” 

He laughs a little, leaning back in his chair. “You know, after a while you start noticing patterns. Amongst your alt selves and you figure shit out quicker if you have a shittonne of examples that are literally you staring you straight in the face. But I guess this was just one of those timelines.” 

That... Was really vague. You just sort of sit there and hope he continues, he does so with a sigh “I had a thing for a Karkat, like a whole fucking lot of Daves. I swear we should start a club or something. But yeah, anyways. He's with someone else. Was ever since before we died. So that happened. But it's cool. What do the patterns even mean? Jack shit. Just that it's more likely to happen to that particular person given a set of circumstances. Does that mean that it had to happen in the alpha timeline? Nope. For example. I'm seeing a lot of the same sweaty dude troll in a French maid sorta getup. Is that a thing that went down on the alpha timeline because I sure as hell hope not.” 

You pause, taking that in. Well shit. At least your pathetically desperate crush on Dave works out in some timelines, or is at least reciprocated. Your Dave would never even look twice at you that way. It's not like you've ever given him cause to anyways. 

He asked you a question “Equius?” 

“Yeah, that's the dude” 

“What the fuck? No. But then again... He did have that weird ordering him around fetish thing. He was a particularly unique member of the team” 

“There's a lot of particularly unique people out here” he nods “so, why are you poking around in my love life?” 

“What? I told you” 

“No you didn't. I spent enough time with you to know that you only ask weird questions like that when something's on your mind. And it's almost always related to the question. What troubles you got for me? Boy troubles? Girl troubles? People troubles?” He gets up from his chair to sit next to you on the bed. 

“Honestly, my ‘boy troubles’, as you call them, are the least of it. It's more like a lack of trouble. In all departments. Forever. Past present and future” 

“With that face? You'll find someone” 

“Will I? Because all I've got for options are you, and believe me no matter how many times I cross my touch stubs and believe in fairies, you'll never be interested, then there's Terezi, who I already fucked up with so giganticly I'm surprised she's still talking to me, let alone friends with me, there's Gamzee, which is a no for lots of long reasons I’d not like to rehash, there's Kanaya, who's involved with Rose in a relationship with questionable quadrant boundaries, there's Rose, who is obviously taken by all standards human, and then there's Vriska, who is a hell to the fuck no” 

You draw in a breath “and on top of all of this doom and gloom zero odds bullshit, I get to try my luck with them for maybe the few perigrees we have left until the meteor dives into the new session and we have to face a boss battle to the third power, in which I am surely going to die because I don't have the luxury of magical second chance pyjamas, or actually decent fighting skills, so the best use of my life would be to protect someone more useful, which is anyone. And that would all be fine, but I still haven't had my first kiss yet, and all I've ever wanted was a stupid romcom moment in my shitty, bleak, life.” 

You huff when you finally vomit all of your emotional baggage on a dead version of your best friend, and suddenly you're reminded of how ridiculous your life is. He just looks at you for a moment, he has that set to his mouth that tells you he's trying to decide whether or not to do something. 

And that, my friends, is how you ended up in a dream bubble, kissing the ghost of Dave Strider. And damn if you weren't going to enjoy the shit out of this while it lasted. 

He kisses you with the enthusiasm of someone who's repressed their feelings for far too long, you match his intensity easily, learning quickly how to move your lips with his. He's obviously done this before. You're just trying not to fuck up. 

You find yourself being slowly nudged backwards, until your head meets the pillows and all you can see is Dave hovering above you on his hands and knees. Your head is spinning. It's so perfect. He's so perfect. And with the shades you can almost pretend... 

But at the same time you want to throw up. This feels so wrong. Like you just fucked up and now you're... You don't know. Dirty? It's not cheating if you were never together. It's not taking advantage of him when it's not him. Right? 

You're doing this for all the wrong reasons. 

The Dave swallows your inklings of protest with his mouth on yours. 

“Hey,” he whispers against your cheek “you don't have to be nervous, you'll never see me after this, right?” 

Yeah, but you will. He continues to kiss you and you continue to follow his lips. Maybe if you ignore the dizzy feeling you won't puke. His hand goes to your jaw. It's cold. 

You hear the door open and panic bubbles up in your chest. The Dave looks up from you to the doorway, now flickering like a projection, getting less and less solid and real. He's looking back at you with disappointment now and the sheets start to feel less like sheets and more like concrete. The bubble’s fading. You sit up and he's gone. 

You're sitting on the floor of one of the labs in the meteor. Dave stands gaping in the doorway at you. 

“...Karkat, what the actual fuck?” He says finally. 

You're going to die, right now. You can feel it. “I can explain” 

He lets out a breath that sounds like it was supposed to be a laugh, but never became one. “Oh please, do. I'd love to hear your step by step retelling” 

You plow forward despite the sarcastic comment “it's not as bad as it looks. I didn't go looking for anything or whatever you might be thinking. I've never done anything even remotely like this before. And he kissed me first, so that's-” 

“So you just decided to make out with a dead version of me. Thanks. Makes perfect sense now.” 

“He's the one who started talking about how lonely he was. Then I... Explained how I related to that and we talked.” 

“That doesn't mean you can jump the bones of my fucking corpse, Karkat” 

“ _He_ kissed _me,_ Dave” 

“Great excuse. Ten out of ten. Totally justifies all of your actions after that.” 

You push yourself up off the ground “Well what the fuck do you want me to say? Not everyone has the chances you have. Excuse me for trying just once to forget about my place in this universe.” 

“Chances? What chances?” 

“The chance to actually be with someone in your lifetime?” 

“How is that a chance I have that you don't?” 

“You're going to go into that battle. You're going to defeat the big bad. You're going to come out of it victorious and you're going to go the the new universe. Then you have plenty of opportunities to be happy.” 

“Or I die. That too.” 

“Oh please. You're not going to die. You've got moronic pyjama insurance” 

“Yeah? And what if you're in trouble? Or Rose? Or John or Jade or Kanaya or Terezi or fuck, even Vriska? What about then?” 

“Just don't do anything stupid” 

“And I suppose that's exactly what you're going to do then? Because it sure sounds like it with the way you keep talking about yourself.” 

“All I know is, you're going to get out. Then you can find someone that you can be happy with. And that's fine and fucking dandy for you. And that's something that I think is worth fighting for, for all of you to have that chance. It's great, but you have no fucking right to deny me a few moments where I can pretend to have something worthwhile.” 

“Have something with _what_? That doomed version of me?” Dave spits. 

“Emphasis on _pretend_ you colossal asshole!” 

“Can't you see how this is a bit fucking weird for me?” 

“Oh yeah, I'm so sorry you had to witness my ugly mug smooshed against yours. My apologies. I'll make sure to wear a paper bag over my head next time a doomed Dave decides to kiss me.” 

“Just stop. You know that's not what I meant” 

“Then what the fuck did you mean?” 

“Do you want me to like the sight of you sucking face with a dead Dave?? It's already bad enough coming across Daves in the bubbles, now I'm expected to welcome the sight of one getting it on with my best bro?” 

“No! Yes? I don't know! Jesus, Dave. I'm sorry okay? I just wanted to have my first kiss before I...” You choke on your words, a lump hitting your throat hard. Shit. 

“...Karkat” he whispers as your vision goes blurry with tears. 

You wipe them away as soon as they come. Breathe. Come on. No crying. God, you're a melodramatic shithead. 

“You're not gonna die okay?” He says quietly. 

“Sorry” you croak out, hating the way your voice wavers “that was melodramatic and stupid” 

“Karkat. You're not gonna die” 

“Okay” 

“I'm serious. We've got a time player and a life player on our side. Ain't no one who's gonna die. You won't die” 

Silence stretches between you while you try to calm down and stop being a wriggler. 

Dave sighs “I'm not even mad at you” 

“You sure spent a lot of time being mad at me just now for someone who's not mad at me” 

“Nah. It's not you. Sorry.” 

“Who are you mad at then?” You try, carefully, getting the distinct feeling that you're stepping into even more emotionally dense territory than you're already in. 

“I don't know. Myself? The universe?” He huffs, turning his head skywards. “Certainly every damn dead Dave in those bubbles” 

“How the fuck was this any of your fault? Or any version of you? I mean, yeah, of course that particular Dave had something to do with it, but it was mostly my fault. Indulging myself. Fantasy. Blah blah blah. It was selfish and stupid and done out of shitty insecure reasons. Not your fault” 

“It was still me. Just another me pissed off at me and trying to fuck me over” 

Ouch. Ah well. What was he supposed to say? Gee, Karkat, I love watching us makeout. But not us. 

You hate the dream bubbles. “Well you weren't doing a very good job at it,” you try, he meets your gaze “you're a shit kisser” 

He pauses for a moment, then laughs, raucous and unrestrained and genuine. “Fuck off. Says the guy who was under me” 

“Never said you didn't give it your best shot” 

He shoves your shoulder and you smile at him. Silence falls again. 

“Fucked you over like, ruined your friendship with me?” You, the guy who can't lighten the mood and run with it, and must ruin everyone’s time, says. 

“No.... No, we're still cool. It wasn't that. Let's just never talk about this again after today?” He runs a hand through his hair and his bangs fall right back over his shades. 

“Sure” you pause “...so what was it then?” 

“What?” 

“That fucked you over” 

He looks at you for a long minute, and you feel like he's trying to pick you apart and find something specific hidden in the abyss. 

“Was that a good first kiss?” 

You blink at him dumbly for a moment “Um. The first one yeah I guess. I wasn't really expecting it? In general it was- I don't know. It was okay.” 

He nods and you continue blubbering, because you don't really know what the right answer is in this situation. “I mean, you weren't actually a bad kisser if that's what you're asking, in all honesty. But that might just be from my perspective having no experience whatsoever. And it was all fine really. None of it was his fault. It was just... Different.” 

“Different than?” 

You narrow your eyes at him “how did it fuck you over, Dave?” 

“Well he kinda took your first kiss, or whatever.” He mutters. 

You shrug “it was good for a first kiss. I guess. Weird circumstances. But it wasn't bad by any means. Besides the obvious.” 

“The obvious?” 

“I didn't know him. I only cared about him by association” 

He steps closer to you and your blood pusher stops for a moment. He stays like that for a while in the silence. You can see him trying to calculate his movements and his options. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. 

You reach out and brush your fingers against his and he grabs you hand immediately. “How did it fuck you over, Dave?” You ask, a smile creeping it's way onto your lips. 

“Shut up” he matches your smile.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this idea for a while but I couldn't pinpoint how I wanted Dave to react to it. So I did a bit of rping and this one Dave (dont know who you are, feel free to hmu if it's you) gave me what I needed. Lots of the lines were modified from what they said, and a few are word for word so yeah.
> 
> Also worry not, people awaiting my next huge project monster bullshit fic, I've been planning it out since it's really involved and yeah. So enjoy this while you wait!
> 
> Thank you all for reading my swill!


End file.
